Memorandum

Memo to staff in the boss’ office

Dear staff

I hate to single out a couple people in the office, however in this case I do feel I need to highlight specific people in order to put my point across.

To the personal assistants to the boss, I think you should be aware of a couple little facts that might come as a surprise to you.

1. The PA to the boss is not tantamount to actually being the boss.

2. No one respects you for the sole reason that you are the PA to the boss.

Ergo, when you ask us to jump, please do not be surprised if the response is not to enquire how high, but rather to suggest sticking your request up your arse.

Also, equally do not be surprised if people get frustrated at your constant insistence to not be compromising in any way possible, and that your future requests are relegated to the bottom of the priority pile.

For instance, when I ask for you to be available during a certain time due to the fact that I have bent over backwards to accommodate your request, do not dismiss my efforts with a “well, actually I’ve just found out I may not be available during that time that I initially said I was available”

This is especially true if you’ve assured me in the past of your availability during a certain time, only to find that you’ve decided to fuck off home early.

It leaves me in the lurch, makes me look stupid, and frankly… pisses me off.

So to continue to expect me to bend to your whims, and expect that I’m going to drop everything for the personal assistants to the boss is rude to say the least.

I can assure you that if this kind of shit happens again, and your boss isn’t happy that his equipment isn’t fixed, I’m not the one copping the flak.

Because I’ll be telling him how his personal assistants were bickering over which one of them would be available for the lowly telco guy, and that’s the reason his shit isn’t sorted.

I thought the personal assistant role was to sort the boss’ shit out.

Yours sincerely, and fuck you

Andy