You Jane. Me Amused
Today, I am going to write one of my usual “I’ve noticed it in a couple places so therefore it’s a ‘phenomenon’” things.
I mentioned in my previous post the Tarzan:Jane ratio. That is, the smaller the “Jane”, then the larger the “Tarzans”
Tarzans are not just limited to the Jane’s boyfriend, though. They can also apply to the male company she keeps (read: the Tarzans who WANT to be her boyfriend, but have slipped into the “Friends Pit of Despair”).
Diminutive Janes always seem to attract larger, burlier guys to them. If they’re not burlier, then they’re simply far more protective of the Jane. Tarzans seem to enjoy this pretence of “being the bigger brother”.
In fact, I have been subjected a few times to a Tarzan warning me to not “screw [Jane] over”, and then outlining the ramifications to me in either exceptional detail, or in a mafia-esque “wipe the bugs off your windshield” suggested manner. I half expected him to correct his tie…
In the case of the taller Janes, the Tarzan still existed, however he was less up-front – perhaps stewing away, waiting for the right opportunity to squeegee the windscreen quietly and unnoticed. Or perhaps he would perform his cleaning duties through means not involving physical intimidation.
A former partner of mine was quite small in stature, and I remember being approached four of her friends (in separate instances), each reminding me to do right by her.
Of those who weren’t large in build, they had a larger voice.
“You respect women, right?” one asked, to which I replied in the affirmative, “good lad” he said before draping his arm across my shoulder in a manly gesture to denote “you’re alright, kid”.
“So you do as well, yeah?” I asked him.
“Of course I do” he said.
“So… in the case of [Jane], you think she can’t look after herself and make her own choices?”
I think it took a couple days after this exchange for this particular Jane to tell me that this Tarzan thought I wasn’t right for her.
I don’t have much else to add to this right now. Please note the tongue in cheek. Feel free to disagree in the comments.
posted by Andy at 12:00 PM
4 files below
Arm-draping should immediately be followed by a "Hey, easy on the touching there, Sailor!" and a playful punch in the arm (or slap on the back) to out-Alpha the Alpha-Male.
I fucking hate Tarzans. Geezus Christ.
Another personal favourite is to be super-cynical and respond with, "Geeee it's SUCH a good thing you're here to protect her! What would she EVER do without you?"
I do this because I have a similar ratio, you see: The bigger the Tarzan, the less trying to reason works. :-( "Jane... make... own choices? *grunt* *grunt*"
Great post, Andy. You're alright mate. :-P
12:13 AM
a lot of people see small-statured women as children who can't defend themselves. maybe that's why a lot of them tend to be feisty. it's not fun when people don't take you seriously.
2:59 PM
unfortunatel cadiz, i think you're right. There's this automatic assumption that the smaller in stature you are, then the more vulnerable you are.
However, from personal experience, I know that smaller women can actually look after themselves.
3:46 PM
Any woman would enjoy this kind of 'protection' needs a kick up the clacker.
Talk about setting the womans movement back twenty years!
9:56 PM
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