The drugs DO work

Not too sure how to start this all out. It’s been quite a fortnight.

Notwithstanding having a piece of bone the size of a mentos removed from my left knee. Yes, I would have to say that I have been fresh and full of life since its removal.

Its been amusing for people around me to witness a six foot male doped up on Oxychodone hobbling around the place, squeezing his left knee which had swollen to the size of a honeydew melon and stopping only to cite random quotes from The Book of Five Rings.

Being prone for a week is somewhat frustrating, especially after spending the previous week being very physical and pushing my body beyond what I believed were its limits.

However being sedate does lend itself towards thinking, which is a practice I indulge in but rarely actually yield much.

This fortnight I began to see other people in a different way. People who I thought were like-minded peers and understood the nature of my inquisitiveness. I believed these people could look beyond their personal ego and understand the difference between a discussion and a challenge.

It turns out I was wrong.

Those who espoused this idea that we are only competing with ourselves, actually were competing with others. They would speak a mantra that ego should not rule their actions, yet in practice… well… ego did rule.

Since my trip to Japan, I knew that I had ruffled a few feathers with these people. What I didn’t realise was just how deep the ruffling went.

Everyone has their own agenda. I expect this. Hell, I’ve even got my own. However, I don’t think everyone else is there to challenge me. I am challenging myself. Having an agenda is a good thing.

But these people don’t realise that I’m not a threat to them. Not because I am not as able as them… but because their agenda is different to mine.

From what I can see, their agenda involves riding on the coat-tails of someone else’s hard work and being seen in favour.

My agenda is simple.

I want it all.

I don’t care how much these people try to intimidate me, because I am not going to waver. They can strike me as hard as they like and I will get back up. I have been hit before and have bounced back. I will continue to do it again and again.

They can slander me behind my back. I no longer care. Their words will have no impact on my progress, so they are no danger to me.

My confidence is not shown in a boisterous and loud-mouthed fashion. My confidence is the knowledge that when the chips go down, you can be very sure that I have backed myself and not some other horse with a glittery mane.

And even the hardships I face now, I know I will stand back up and shake it all off.

Because whenever a part of you seems to have fallen asleep, you have to keep moving that limb until the feeling returns.