Like, you know.... whatever.

I have come to the conclusion that no one says anything anymore.

Listening to conversations in the Myer Centre Food Court (ugh) revealed to me that when others are recounting past encounters with people, they don’t actually tell the facts of how their conversation went.

Instead, they relate to others what the conversation was similar to, or alike to.

"She picked out this dress, and I was like, ‘Oh you’re not getting that’ and she was like, ‘it’ll so suit me’ and I was like, ‘Nuh, uh!’"

Truth be known, the “conversation” probably went along the lines of

Person A: “This dress looks nice”

Person B: “Yeah, it suits you”

Person A: “Aw, thank you!”

Person B then secretly has an inner monologue that represents their “in your face” attitude, and how they tell people exactly what they think. This eventually culminates into the full-blown belief that the conversation actually took place.

But that’s probably when the “like” part probably comes in. Sure, the conversation never happened… but it “similar” or “alike” to it. “Alike”, as in “Really Wanted To Have Happened, But I'll Say It To Make Me Sound Awesome.”

“So she went and bought it and was like, ‘this is so nice’, and I was like, ‘you’ve just wasted your money’ and she was like, ‘you’re just jealous because I’ve got a better body and no cankles’ and I was like, ‘Nuh, uh!”

Someone should tell these people that inner-monologue doesn’t count as an actual conversation.

Sure, we can embellish a little… but… wait, I can’t finish that thought.

Leave me alone. I would so, like, kick your butt.