But, who else can I be...?

The high horse is fed, brushed, given blinders and ready to ride back into the blog.

Just be yourself. It’s good advice for anyone, really. Anyone could tell you that simply acting as yourself is to be the best person possible. That to be precisely who you appear to be is reassuring to others, and it engenders a more harmonious environment… in where cute cuddly bears gambol around playfully, with their big blue eyes and soft, furry hides.

Yes, that’s right. However, many seem to have some kind of idea that simply being yourself entails losing all of your inhibitions, not caring what other people think, and disregarding everything.

Okay, yes… fair enough. I don’t judge that. If it’s who you are, then it’s who you are.

I’m not like you, though.

So, in turn, if you want me to like you for who you are, and to accept all your quirks, then you must grant me that same luxury.

For all the hijinx, crazy thoughts, humorous behaviour and amusing analogies, I am at heart a fairly serious person. This doesn’t mean I am incapable of having fun, mucking around, cracking jokes and being a nutbag. Oh hell no. Equally it doesn’t mean that I take everything seriously and that you should be walking on eggshells with your ultra soft, lambs-wool slippers whenever you are near me.

I’m not going to bite your head off, shoot your cuddly woodland creatures and wear them as a nice purple hat if you do something that I interpret as stupid. You’re only human, just like me.

It just means that I have bouts of seriousness. I am self conscious. I am tactful. I am not as blunt and forthright as a howitzer shooting round pellets of rubber. Yes, I am honest with people, but I don’t place a higher value on approaching someone and telling them outright that I think they’re a fuckwit (despite the fact that my vitriol on this blog does do that from time to time… hey it’s the internet. It’s anonymous. Fuck off. Fuckwit).

I would be a little more tactful. I think “idiot” is just as effective at putting my point across (disregard bracketed area in previous paragraph… idiot).

Maybe I could be a little less self-conscious. Maybe I could stand to lose a few inhibitions. But that’s my weight to bear, not anyone else’s.

But anyone who is going to force their method of thinking as somewhat “better” is simply going shut me off.

I don’t judge people’s wacky behaviour, and their profound ability to drunkenly stumble up to someone just so they can announce their opinion of their cute arse. I don’t care that they can waltz up to any stranger and charm them with their impeccable “in-your-face-ness”.

But that’s not who I am. And despite past events, I still think I’m doing okay.

In turn, don’t judge me for being a little shy, a little reserved, and being a bit more contemplative before acting. I could be packing heat, with my eye on that cute bear on your person.

All these people I’ve spoken to about this whole “being yourself” doctrine seem to enjoy outlining precisely who they are, and what traits they exhibit, but none have actually outlined what they’re not. That might be coincidence, though… maybe if I wasn’t so shy, and talked to more people…

Ugh… what’s my point? Oh yeah… you don’t want to be judged by me? Well... don’t judge me back, either... idiotwit.

(but everyone is judgemental in their own way… but that’s another subject for another day)