When it rains, it buckets...
Okay, let's try this again. Just got back from my friends place in where a few glasses of wine were consumed, things discussed, and sushi eating. After such a fine blend of activity, most people usually bugger off to bed at 10.30pm... on a work night, that is.
Not me. I'm a die hard blogger of the highest calibre and simply must regale my readers with every single event of my day. YOu know... today, I had breakfast... went to work... and you know... stuff happened.
And my staying awake has nothing to do with the fuckwits across the road playing ballsports inside their giant tin shed. Nope, nothing at all. Honest.
Further to the entry before, what can I say? I seem to be bearing witness to my own little theory called (pending appropriate patents, copyrights etc) The Stench Of Desperation.
Explained simply, if you go around actively seeking a relationship, you exude a certain awkwardness that makes your prospective woo-ee give you a look that is normally savoured for beholding the dog poop they just stepped in, or when walking past the disfigured body of roadkill.
However, if you're not actively looking for a relationship, you're much more relaxed, and people find you a lot more appealing. You don't make people feel awkward with your own awkwardness. In fact, people might be wondering why the hell such a fine specimen of a human being simply isn't snaffled up by some lucky prick.
Chances are, you already have been. I don't know how many times I was approached by nice girls when I already had a girlfriend... okay, that's a lie. It was thrice, but you get my point.
So, I guess my original point was; if you're looking for a relationship... stop fucking looking!!! When you least expect it, it's going to sneak up behind you, cover your eyes with its hands, say "Guess who" before running of with your wallet and testicles.
If you're a female, replace "testicles" with "sense of dignity".
Disclaimer: Despite the name, The Inane Asylum has absolutely no medical background, or any other evidence of the existence of the Stench of Desperation, other than the sweeping generalisations borne from our experiences. It may not apply to everyone. Oh, and we were kidding about the whole wallet/testes/dignity thing. Really. Give us a break, we're deep into four glasses of wine.
posted by Andy at 10:41 PM
9 files below
this is based on my own experience, i'm pretty sure it's different for others but i reckon when you're attached, generally, you're pretty much a happier person - hence people are drawn to you like a magnet. when you just got out of a relationship, you tend to be depressed and 'lost' (at least to me it was) - hence people just go running away.
hmm... i was thinking, what about companionship without relationship? ;-)
11:25 PM
i think there's some kind of pheremone people put out when they're looking for love that screams 'do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, look in my direction if you are even remotely interesting and attractive'
the only way to deactivate it is to accept you'll be alone forever and whistle a happy tune. it breaks the force field and people will start venturing toward you.
this is hard to accept until you've actually broken it. personally, i thought i did, but i guess my tune wasn't strong enough, because it only opened for a minute and has now closed up again.
3:39 AM
so should i take this to mean that you've tested this? you stopped looking and met someone? you sound like you're speaking from experience
7:00 AM
chica: Companionship without relationship can exist, I'm sure. As long as both people are aware of the terms and conditions of the union... egad. Jasmine! Get the lawyer onto these terms and conditions!
cadiz: Someone I mentioned this to actually thought it might be pheromone related, which may be true. But I think it's more in the attitude you portray
Jasmine: It's based upon my previous experiences, and how that whenever I start a new relationship, it's been at a time when I didn't really want one... because I was too busy. I haven't met anyone recently per se, but I have stopped looking for a relationship.
7:50 AM
... oh... forgot to add this, Jazz: I have stopped looking, but I seem to be getting a fair amount of attention lately...
7:51 AM
ahhh. see, i agree with you, but mostly because i feel like i'm always looking (i have and eagle eye when it comes to good looking men) but am terminally single. i'm a goddamn catch, so the only thing i could think is that its murphy's law...when i stop looking, they will come. though, semi-off topic, it's also the reason i keep on top of bikini waxes. theory: if you wax it, they will come...though i know that's a bit crude. bah. ignore me. i make no sense!
1:19 PM
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1:19 PM
Oh, you make perfect sense, Jasmine. It's just that... there's not much I... can add... to that last sentence...
I'd love to say that I feel your pain, but I'd be blatantly lying :|
4:02 PM
andy, i'm sure you're right. it is all about attitude. but the problem is i have so little control over it.
jasmine, absolutely. when i'm single, looking around is as hard to stop as breathing. but nearly every time i've given up and pursued what'll make ME happy, is when somebody interesting comes along.
i can't explain it. and i can't seem to do it on command, either (or i totally would have like 5 months ago). i have to hit that point of angst where i'm tired of that but-i-have-to-put-on-the-expensive-makeup-what-if-i-meet-THE-ONE-tonight thing, go out looking like i just got out of bed, and of course meet someone.
ugh. i hate dating.
4:10 PM
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