Personality Smoke and Mirrors

I’m not writing this in frustration or anything. Nor am I yearning for any kind of relationship, and am in the throes of trying to wrest some coherence in the extreme bewilderment associated with woo-ing the opposite gender.

I am simply amazed at the amount of people… mainly men… who believe that to be successful in obtaining a partner is simple matter of “being confident”.

Okay, sure. You need to have some confidence in order to approach someone and put your ego on the line, but I simply fail to believe that exuding a trait that might not be an intrinsic part of your personality is the key to sending the ladies swooning like insanely fanatical groupies.

Because I am certain that whilst some people might be attracted to someone who is self assured, there are an equal amount of people who might perceive that as arrogance, pompousness and weapons-grade arseholium.

Besides, these people might actually conjecture that you are simply hiding some form of deep-seated insecurity.

Also, seems that defining “confidence” is largely subjective.

I went out with friends on Saturday night. We walked into a bar (said, “ouch”... hawhaw), and I started chatting away to people. I laughed, drank, laughed some more, chatted to people, drank much more and basically had a good, relaxing time.

Yet, one of the people who attended mentioned to a friend of mine that I was “nice, but a bit shy.”

Now, I think I speak for 100% of the males who are currently writing this blog when I say, “Eh?”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was always of the opinion that being shy entailed being quiet, reserved and unsure – traits that I wasn’t really exhibiting that night, I don’t think.

I love digression.

Where was I going? Oh yes. Confidence being the only attractive thing. Horseshit. I am sure that some women like a shy guy. To be able to “bring him out of his shell” would be rewarding to some women, I’m sure, and would lend itself to a feeling of empowerment, or even exclusivity.

But, seeing as I’m not exactly qualified to comment on what women feel when in the company of males, due largely to my own male-ness, keep in mind that this is all purely conjecture. However, if I am to act in a manner that is unlike me, then I’m only going to attract someone that I’d probably not enjoy the company of.

But if I am supposed to appear more confident than how I was on Saturday night in order to shake this “shy” tag, then people are asking far too much of me, and should fuck off.

Oh, and yes, I do realise that the fact that I am actually quite shy makes me a hypocrite, but I’m not the one on trial here… leave me alone.

Damn this Insight program. My mind seems to be focussing on relationships now, and I’m sure that there are better things to ponder.