Celebrity Ads and Brick Walls

I love those adverts in where a celebrity tries to hock some product onto you. They usually go along the lines of “Hi, my name’s (insert celebrity name), and when I’m not (insert celebrity occupation), I’m popping these weet-bix like a speed-fuelled tic-tac addict.”

If I were ever to become a celebrity, mine would probably be something like, “Hi, my name’s Aph, and when I’m not making a dick of myself and needlessly thrashing my ego like an Iraqi prisoner in custody of the Coalition Of The Willing, I’m banging my forehead on this brick wall, quality built by Bianco.”

Well, that’s how it would go if by some fortunate set of circumstances you could be a celebrity for your immense ability to constantly make a dick of yourself. Mind you, that probably explains celebrities like Big Brother contestants, Johnny Knoxville, and Winona Ryder.

I guess there’s no other real point to this post, other than to outline that I seem to forming a habit of making myself appear as a tragic fool. But I guess I figure that if my purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others, then so be it.

At least I’m not purposeless, goalless or useless.

But there is no point trying to explain what happened on this blog. To have fully comprehended the horror, you’d need to have actually been there to witness the tragedy unfold before your eyes. I shudder even now.