Flowers, Balls and Hallucinogens

“He who acts, spoils: he who grasps, lets slip” – Lao-Tse

“Carpe Diem (Seize the day)” – Anyone who’s seen Dead Poet’s Society

I know it may be somewhat erroneous to pit Taoist philosophies versus a saying that was relegated to a tagline from a mainstream movie, but these two seem to sum up my mental conundrum quite well.

Although it is further erroneous to only take a small excerpt from the total philosophy and somehow forge out your actions on that basis (because that quoted piece of what Lao pondered applied to a larger philosophy pertaining to those who fail when on the edge of success). But I digress.

Through the simple act of trivialisation, I have managed to take this small piece of Chinese idealism and somehow use it to plant a tiny seed of doubt within my head. Fun, fun, funno.

I had been considering doing something totally, and unabashedly reckless, and I had worked up the courage to plan out my day accommodating said brash activity. However, this little line of Taoist deterrent just flipped my day upside down, as that seed of doubt was planted, and has since bloomed into a beautiful flower of “Leave It The Fuck Alone”.

Because the flower has a point. To perform this reckless action, no matter what precautions I take, may have ramifications that will possibly a) further bruise my already thrashed ego, b) impact upon people I don’t want to impact negatively upon, and/or c) make me look like an idiot… more so.

But deep inside my head is a bitter little ball of “Fuck It, You Only Live Once, Besides You’re Off To Japan In A Year’s Time Anyway, Who’s Gonna Care Then?”

To which the flower retorts: Lock in possibility “C”, thanks Eddie.

Then the ball repeats it’s one-line vitriol, “FIYOLOBYOTJIAYTAWGCT?”.

… and so forth.

So, there we have it. A yoyo of feelings that keeps getting tangled somewhere in the middle. Bloody hell.

But, if I can walk away with something from this experience, I would cite the metaphors in this post. Talking flowers? Talking Bitter Balls that speak in acronyms? Symbolic Yoyos?

Lesson: stop drinking the Adelaide water...