60 minutes vs The Cask

I don’t watch 60 minutes all that often, to be honest. Not because it’s boring, or that I have no heart, or even that the presenters have the most annoyingly patronising voices in the world (although it’s a small factor), but mainly because at the end of the show I feel like I’ve been emotionally manipulated. Independently violated, if you will.

I like to feel as though I can form my own opinions on a certain subject. Even though my opinion may be misguided, ill-informed, reckless or downright wrong, at least I formed it myself without having some happy puppet master make me dance to his/her tune.

I didn’t catch the interview last night with Mamdouh Habib. But if by “Didn’t Catch” I really meant, “Intentionally Avoided” then yes, I’ve busted myself.

It was the way it was promoted that caused me to switch channel, then get up, and sit outside with my good friend, Chateau le Box (ie cask wine) whilst the interview was on.

The promotion consisted of the interviewer blatantly asking Habib if he were “a terrorist”, and then through some obvious little tricks of editing, they made him appear all shifty-eyed. I’m surprised they didn’t doctor the footage somehow so that he appeared to tear open his shirt to expose the 50 kilos of C4 strapped to his chest and shouting “death to all infidels!”

Of course, it was trickery. Trickery McSneak thought that it would entice people to watch, and I guess he was right. Except for me, though. Cask wine leaves a much more pleasant taste on the palette than watching five minutes of this show. Come to think of it, so does vinegar.

To those people who tuned in hopefully to watch Habib’s shiftyness, if you honestly believed this 60 minutes promotion, and thought that he would openly admit to a nation that he is some west-hating rebel, maybe you should consider a couple things:

One, if he was associated with some underground faction, hell bent on precipitating the demise of western oppression; surely he would’ve undergone some training. I’m pretty sure that part of this training would entail a session that goes something along the lines of:

“Because of the nature of our organisation’s mission statement, strategic plans and methodologies, there will be some risk that you will be asked a few questions from authorities. If in the event that they ask if you are employed by our organisation, be sure that you say ‘no’, okay? Even if you have to look into their eyes and say it. Yes, Mamdouh, even if they promise to be your friend… stop asking.”

Two, I’m no expert on the subject, but if he were associated with a terrorist organisation, I doubt that he’d consider himself as a “terrorist”. If he were, he would probably consider himself a “warrior” or something. Either way, I really don’t think that the business name was registered as “Al Q’aida Terrorism Corp. Pty. Ltd. – For All Your Terrorism Needs”

And three, this man spent years in Camp X-Ray, where professional interrogation specialists probably interrogated him, using highly special psychological interrogation techniques. If he were going to “admit” anything, he probably would have done so a while ago, unless of course these interrogation specialists didn’t think of actually just plain out asking him.

“No, wait... I got it, get a western blonde female in a short skirt to ask him… because those people in the terrorist organisations we’re trying to find seem to trust westerners, particularly blonde females who don’t cover their whole body! He wouldn’t lie to her!”

Of course, I shouldn’t judge 60 minutes without having actually watched their show last night. Meh, I think that rekindling a relationship with my old friend “alcohol” was far more important.

May I turn into an alcoholic if I am wrong.