My Gift

Everyone on this planet has a certain gift – a flair for being able to achieve something that very few other people could. For some it might be photography, for others it might be playing a sport, and for others, it could be the ability to sit through the entire series of “Allo Allo” without some form of mental trauma.

For me, however, it is the uncanny ability to find a parking space right adjacent to where a 4WD will be upon my return, therefore hindering my vision when I back out of the parking space.

I could park in the middle of the Simpson Desert, walk away, come back and find my poor car surrounded by Land Rovers and Hummers.

But that’s what I get for parking in a place that only 4WD’s should venture...

It seems that a NSW council is looking to double fines for those people who own “SUV’s”. One side of me thinks, “yeah, so they should. Those pricks usually have tonnes of money, and the day that I don’t see a 4WD on the road is the day I Riverdance on the Great Western Highway.”

However, the other side of me thinks, “Wait, maybe I should be more tolerant of those other people on the road, besides, I don’t live anywhere near the Great Western, and the only dance I can do is the ‘awkward-boy-shuffle’”

I honestly doubt that increasing the fines is going to deter people from buying a 4WD, so it seems erroneous to polarise car owners (more so) and create any other rifts on the roads. Hell, there’s enough road rage out there to power a small country for a week.

I hate to stereotype, but most people who buy 4WD’s (or SUV’s, or wankermobiles... whatever) are actually quite wealthy, and possibly stand a chance of not really caring about the long term expenses. Besides, speeding fines aren’t really considered when some of these young bucks buy a high performance car. Then again, neither is insurance, tyre costs or even the subsequent conjecture about their penis size for that matter.

Whilst having less 4WD’s on the road would make my driving life a little easier, I don’t think anything can stop them from being in urban settings. People have their (often misguided) reasons for buying them, and nothing is going to stop them. So, in a way I’m glad for my gift. It has taught me how to deal with the animals of the highway jungle.

…and how to reverse out when I can’t see a fucking thing.