Shifting focuses

My blog has shifted focus somewhat. After initially hoping to scrutinise our local paper for their lack of ability and/or talent, I realised that this idea had already been done (much better) by the documentary, Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch’s War on Journalism.

So the blog has shifted to being the outlet for my everyday observations. If you’re wondering why I’ve abandoned one idea because “it’s been done” for an idea that that is basically being done by the other 20-odd billion (approx) blogs out there, then my response is, “Because I want to. Besides, it’s therapeutic to outlet. Surely you don’t want me to bottle everything up inside only to snap one day and begin walking down the street swinging a claw hammer at random people? By the way, where do you live, and is there a tool shed nearby?”

Anyway…

I have written and re-written this entry about five times, each one covering a different observation of mine. However, after getting about 300 words into each version, I’ve read through them, and realised how self-centred, self-absorbed, egocentric and hoity-toity it all seems.

These are precisely the traits that I treat with disdain.

People go through a stage in their life in where they must do something called “finding themselves”. It is a time of discovery in where you try to define whom you are, and what things you like to do. Some people go to bars, socialise and chat up the foreign bartender, whilst other people travel to the ends of the earth to pull beers for the local, drunken morons.

I’d like to think that I have a firm grasp on who I am, but I am starting to think that the firm grasp is turning into a bit of a chokehold. I wonder if it is truly worth stepping beyond who I am and begin masquerading in a new role that I am not initially comfortable in.

People spend many decades trying to find themselves, but what do you do when you’ve found it? More importantly, what if you feel like punching you in the face? It’s not like you can just get up and leave your brain… mind you, it might explain a few of the vacuous and frankly quite disturbing conversations I’ve been having with people lately.

Well, regardless of other people’s Houdini brains, I think I’ll keep mine around, but try to explore something new for a change. Maybe I’ll stop trying to be Dr. Relationship to everyone. Maybe I’ll stop being the nut-bag who tries to find a silver lining in everything. Maybe I can try the self-centred, hoity-toity persona, and find some solace in pointing my finger at everyone else for all my woes.

Some people live very happy lives that way.