Sour Grapes Make a Crap Whine

Australia lost, people. Get over it. No amount of crying foul will change it.

As the vomit of Australian supporters’ ire spills onto the streets - reminiscent of many hours spent binge-drinking whilst following another bandwagon – after the controversial Italia win a couple mornings ago, I feel compelled to throw my hat into the ring.

So long as no one throws up in it. But I’m not a hat person. So I guess the analogy is redundant.

Soccer (herein referred to as Football) is a fickle game, a harsh mistress, a cruel dominatrix… and sometimes a fluffy lapdog that brings beer.

I have been trying to search for an independent opinion on the game, but everyone seems to be focused on that tackle. Regardless of whether it was a penalty or not, Australia still lost.

But I give Australian football supporters applause for at least being consistent with their sport as with every other aspect of life.

In the face of a little hardship, we don’t look ahead and search for ways to make the most of a bad situation. No, we have a fucking whinge about it.

Look. Even I’m doing it. Having a whinge at the whiners.

The streets are alive with the harmonious chorus of dozens of Waaaambulances.

However, as we are of a multicultural society, I am personally going to make the most of this situation.

Like many of my fellow Australians, I have a heritage that extends beyond our shores. And, like many of my fellow Australians, I am going to support the country of my family’s origin… even if it was my great-great-grandparents who hopped on a crate lid and paddled for this land.

Go England!!! Yay, Poms! Oi haf a flag ‘anging out th’ winda of me motor, t’ shoo me s’port for me country orf orrig’n.

Oh god… I delusional.

Read the fallout here.