Meleeing with Malaise

As I don’t have any real epiphanies, insightful thoughts or mind-blowing oddities today, I must regale my weekend’s exploits

Guys don’t usually brag about the bargains they picked up on the weekend, but I’m especially proud of this.

I got two, count em… well count them in your head. I can see you mouth moving… two $400 suits with shirt and tie for a meagre $370 on the weekend.

I think I’ve discovered the benefit of shopping with a woman - the unhindered ability to lock onto victim shops and then fleece them of their merchandise.

Although the charcoal number with brown pin-stripes is rather “not me”, it is still a nice suit. No, the shirt I bought wasn’t pink, either.

Upon placing the garment around my shoulders, and then draping the pants from my waist, I immediately had the odd desire to pick up a Tommy gun and put on a pair of spats.

Unfortunately the attendant informed me that the shop didn’t stock either of those items, so I had to make do with the images in my head.

The other benefit of having this female friend of mine was the reassuring review of my visage…

“Yeah, I’d [hit on] ya…”

I never knew that a suit over the top of a daggy polo shirt and white socks peeking out from under my pant’s hem was so fetching.

And as reassuring her comment was, I sincerely doubt that I could actually get into any establishments of social capacity wearing said ensemble. I’m pretty sure some of those places required shoes.

If I had a Tommy gun, though…

Disclaimer: Please excuse today’s sincere lack of anything decent. Also excuse the disturbing sway towards homicidal tendencies. I’ve finished my detox diet, and am currently in the process of “retoxing”. Also, this is not an excuse for the grotesque dose of writer’s block I have coursing through my lobes. Well, not much of an excuse. Well, if it were an excuse, it’s a poor one. It’s so poor, I once saw it on the corner of George and Pitt Street holding a cardboard sign, trying to sell its… oh wait… crap… I’ve used that one… move along people, nothing to see here. As you were.