Hmph... Women...

Someone once asked me about whether my experiences with the opposite gender has impacted upon how I approach them.

ie “has being cheated on turned me into some kind of woman hating, cynical, chauvinistic cloud of testosterone who whinges at having to constantly take out the rubbish and remove the lids from jars?”

I would love to shake my head and retort to that assertion with the disdain normally reserved for scraping gunk off the sole of my shoe, but I stopped myself and had a think… and no, my brain didn’t start burning from the stress.

It was a woman who asked me this question, so for me to treat her with the disdain outlined afore would only support an answer to the positive.

But just because I’ve been abused by one selfish woman, it doesn’t mean that I’m walking around painting women with that same brush.

Well, I don’t want to. Not intentionally at least.

Besides, I’m sure that being painted by any brush isn’t much fun, especially if the paint isn’t water based.

Anyway, it would be somewhat erroneous of me to immediately assume that all women that enter my life will simply chew me up, take my wage and then piss off with another bloke. I know for a fact that there are appreciative women out there.

Truth be known, I’d love to be a cynical prick when it comes to women. I’d love to play the distant male, who never speaks about what’s on his mind, and immediately turns into a child at the first sign of the sniffles.

I’d love to be able to look at women as mere objects built solely for my titillation.

But they’re too fucking appealing, dammit.

That spell they conjure… what with the whole scent thing, the elegant strides, their diminutive frames, their soft skin, their perfectly placed hair… how can you not respect such elegance?

That’s right. The fairer gender has a hold on me. And it’s not fair. How can I exact revenge on the species if I’ve got this attitude?

So my response to this friend’s question? Has my experience turned me into someone who holds women in total contempt?

Bear in mind that I’m a sarcastic prick.

“Don’t be such a stupid bitch…”