A Rude Awakening

There are times where you are jolted out of a state of torpor, a certain trigger alights your senses and drags you out of your relative state of lull.

And when it does happen, it’s somewhat like waking at 4am with a terrible leg cramp.

Did I say “somewhat alike”… because I meant, “exactly like”.

I hardly remember over exerting myself last night. I took one of my usual hour-long leisurely strolls down the beach. I came home, and sat down with a so-so bottle of Wolf Blass Chardonnay.

A friend popped in to say hello, and we chatted for a while before their departure. At 11pm I went to bed, and slipped away into sleep.

And then at 4am, a muscle spasm like you would never believe gripped my calf, causing an awful jerk reaction. I thank the stars that I don’t share a bed with anyone at the moment, as I’m sure she wouldn’t have taken too kindy to my heel in her nose.

Of all the sensations and feelings to have at 4am, pain doesn’t rank very highly. In fact, I’m sure most of you wouldn’t be surprised to know that it’s probably at the bottom of the list.

I feel back to sleep at around 4.30am. Either that, or I passed out from the pain.

Naturally, as I like to share my experiences with as many people as possible, I regaled this story to my work colleagues when they noticed I was brandishing a slight limp. They all laughed uproariously at my suffering, citing lack of exercise, or that karma was somehow responsible. However, this mirth was cut short by the pregnant woman in the corner.

“Oh, I get them every night.” She quipped, simultaneously stopping the laughter, and painting the area in a sombre tone.

I learned an important lesson today.

For whatever suffering that can be experienced – especially by a male – there will always be a pregnant woman on hand to remind everyone that they haven’t experienced real pain, and never will.

But at that particular point in time, I was reminded of an old country-Australian saying that my mother always used to say to me whenever she felt inconvenienced by someone else’s perspective.

I forget exactly how the saying went… but I’ll paraphrase.

“Fuck off”.

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In other news, Schapelle Corby receives her verdict today. Cue tomorrow’s front page: Headline will either be “Guilty!” or “Justice!”

I was watching a feed from news.com, and I really didn’t think it appropriate for the advert for a financial company to be splashed across the bottom of the page. But, whaddayagonnado?

The advert might as well have read: Feeling trapped by debt? Free yourself from the injustice of repaying at super high interest rates! Our interest rates are lower than Corby’s morale!