Revenge of the Spliff

Oh yeah, I did go to see Star Wars last night.

I had outlined my previous ire at having to share a large room with 200-odd nerds, just like the last time I went to see Lord of the Rings, or even Episode 2.

But I think I'm the only person on the face of the planet that thinks that Star Wars was "just a movie".

C'mon, bring on your lightsabers. I reckon I could take on your plastic toy.

Last night didn't fail to deliver, either.

Even standing out the front of the theatre was no refuge from the over-comfortable intelligentsia who were basking in the final hours of their space epic. It seems to me that standing out front places you in the zone with 10,000 other smokers, and therefore classes you as "fair game".

I was approached by one puffing, freckled kid who was beside himself. He began chatting away to me, despite my obvious protestations. I mean, is waving your hands in front of your face, and coughing really loudly too subtle to interpret as "go away"?

It doesn't help that I'm now on day five without a smoke. The kid should count his lucky stars that I didn't kick him in the shins and take his ciggies.

After he left, he was replaced by an older woman who regaled me on how she was looking forward to the movie, and that she was enthralled that there is another Herbie movie coming out.

Nod, smile... fuck off.

Oh sure, they were just being friendly, but I guess I had my guard up last night, and was in no mood for tolerating strangers who breached the perimeter of my comfort zone.

Once in the theatre, I surveyed very little evidence of costume bound freakjobs, and I took a little comfort. I relate this back to my innate fear of clowns, but that's another story.

There were those who were speculating on the events that transpire, and crossing their fingers that this movie didn't suck as much as the last two. The last two sucked so much that the ushers didn't need to vacuum the theatre afterwards (boom tish).

Naturally, as the movie progressed, I could hear them whispering amongst themselves as to how the movie differed from their premonitions and predictions.

But the bantha fodder goes to the guy next to me who, as the immortal words "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away" graced the screen, whispered quietly to no one in particular, "I think I've seen this one before"...

I think I'll need that spliff to get through this movie... not that I condone marijuana usage.