Apologies, In Advance...

In this world of the Inane Asylum, I come across a variety of people, each with their own story to tell, each with their own experiences from which to glean wisdom. If, when conversing with these people, I find some kind of parallel between some of them, I quickly identify a “trend” and then bang on about it as though it’s “fact”.

Which raises some eyebrows, I’m sure. Fr’instance, three people with the same problem does not necessarily a trend make, but in the world that is my blog, it does.

N’yer.

I speak to a lot of people, in that I know a lot of people. I don’t just strut up to strangers, introduce myself and start conversing with them at length about their relationships and what not.

No, cos that would be weird.

I seem to have stumbled across a parallel between someone’s looks and the types of relationships they have experienced. Naturally, this being my little world, I will converse at length as though this parallel is indicative of society as a whole, and will subsequently disregard other people’s experiences because they are “isolated cases”.

‘Cos that’s not weird…

I have expressed in this blog previously that I pity the female of our species. This, of course, is regardless of whether females want my pity, and believe that I should shove said pity into an orifice normally reserved for exiting. Sorry girls, you got it anyway.

Preach empowerment, independence and male oppression all you want, I don’t care. You’ve got it rough, and everyday I am thankful for my nads.

Anyway, this little parallel I’ve drawn relates the conventional beauty of a female with the number and/or types of abusive relationships.

Guys who prey upon the beautiful women are usually sharp, charming and able to hide any characteristic shortcomings quite easily… until they snare their victim. It seems that more often than not, these guys are also quite explosive, manipulative and parasitic (which are, funnily enough, traits of a psychopath).

As they are so adept at charming, they often appeal more than someone who is, say, less explosive, manipulative etc.

However, it is also the nice, genuine guys that might have the little “random beautiful woman” shrine in their house, and go about stalking… so either way ladies, you’re fucked.

These superficial manipulators often overlook the less-than-conventionally-beautiful women, mainly because… well… they’re superficial. In turn, it’s the less than conventionally beautiful woman (the ones I know, at least) that have the more genuine, and least abusive relationships.

Advice to all you lookers out there: try going out one night without being dressed up to the nines. No makeup, no teasing of hairs. Wear long, modest pants and a loose fitting shirt. That’d make sure the crazies don’t come pinch you on the arse.

Hell, I won’t talk to you…

Actually, come to think of it, you’ll still probably attract the wrong kinda person. So I reiterate: either way, you’re all screwed. Curse your beautiful features to hell, and good luck with life, okay? Bless.

Wow… what a broad generalisation. Fuck. I’m going to offend someone, one day.

Disclaimer: The Inane Asylum is not responsible if anyone somehow thinks that this is related to them. If you have taken offence, believe The Inane Asylum when they assure you that The Inane Asylum is not talking about you. Really. Also, The Inane Asylum is aware they should not cast sweeping generalisations… blah, blah, blah… small cross section of community… blah, blah, blah… no qualification of any kind, except that small certificate from radio school and the “pen license” from third grade… blah, blah, blah… no correspondence will be entered into… blah, blah, blah… restraining order on you if you do take offense…etc. Fuck off, pansy… blah, blah, blah…