A Miasma of Randomness

My mind is a swirling miasma of scintillating thoughts and turgid ideas (Those who know Sam and Max would know where I ripped that sentence from). It saturates me with random things (mainly events in my life at the moment), and sometimes I wish it would simply shut up.

But voices in my head don’t necessarily make me a psychopath, according to Dr Robert Hare. Anyway…

There’re too many things going through my head at the moment, but I simply can't focus on one, so it'd be difficult to discuss any on a deeper level. So, instead I’m going to list them off.

A close colleague of mine is good friends with K. It is awfully difficult to not try and raise the topic of last Friday night… mainly because I'm sure she's got plenty of work to do without having to put up with the twisted soap opera that is my existence.

This colleague sits a mere two metres away from me, so she’d better not look over my shoulder.

Everyone else is such a fucking expert. “Andy, you shoulda pashed her.” – “Andy, you coulda…” – “Andy, she woulda…”

The point is; Andy didn’t, so he couldn’t, and trust me… she’s a smart, classy girl, so she wouldn’t have…

I’ve got a “gentlemanly” persona to maintain, anyway.

However, one surprisingly insightful friend did point out that I’m attracted to her because she makes me “feel dumb”. Not that I’m an overly intelligent person; I’ve just attracted… er… “misinformed” women in the past. The fact that she challenges me is something I find refreshing, invigorating and stimulating.

This damn deposit cheque from the sale of my house better arrive soon. I’ve got plans.

My diet has been shithouse lately. I’m still stick-thin, although I’m sure there’re some handles starting to spawn. I should really do more exercise. *sigh* Bachelor life.

I hate butter on my sandwiches. Those women who work in my local café still have no fucking idea on this quirk of mine…

I thought about doing a post on the afterlife… but what’s the point? If there is one, then there’s something to look forward to. If there isn’t then we’ll be far too busy being dead to worry about it. I hear that death is a demanding mistress.

I should donate blood soon. I’m the most common blood type in the world, and that’s even more reason to do it. I haven’t done it for a while, probably because the last time I donated, I got a bruise along the entire length of my arm. It hurt.

I’ve just realised that this post is beginning to look like one of those 100 Things About Me lists that I derided in a previous post. I’m sure none of you picked me for a hypocrite.

My colleague just came up to me to ask me a question. Click, minimise… safe. Good.

I’m such a slacker lately. I’d use an excuse like: “I’m busy from the exertion involved with selling the house”, “I’m preparing to move house”, or “I’ve been distracted lately” but no one has a problem with my work performance. If anything, I’ve been getting glowing reviews. Huzzah for being in a workplace that practically applauds mediocrity.

The fact that a K (thank you chica for the idea of keeping people anonymous through the use of their first initials) related point has appeared more times than any other subject is indicative of either some bastardised form of transference that I’m suffering, or some whimsical hope that I’m not forced to tread the earth completely alone... for now. I haven’t spoken to her since Saturday morning… Oh well, take it as it comes, and don’t question anything. Maybe I’ll call her tonight.

“Don’t be too eager” one friend says, “Don’t be too distant” says another. “Geez, it’s not as difficult as you make it out to be” says me, “whatever happens, life goes on.”

My brother returned to Sydney this morning. I hadn’t seen him for a year, and he visited for two weeks. I saw him twice for a few hours. He wants me to visit Sydney soon… maybe in May or when the drift racing is on at Oran Park. We're not close brothers... all three of us...

Thank Christ I got the driver's bio done (one pet project that has occupied my time lately - a quick biography on a drift racing driver). He (the driver) is meeting with a major sponsor tonight, so I hope he gets the deal. I'd like to believe that I had a hand in it, and that it wasn't solely because of his talents on the track...

Lately I seem to have a knack of catching women looking at me. It's cute. It's reassuring. I should thank them... just to see their reaction.

I'm sure there's more, but I think I've said enough.