Magnetism's Relationship With Idiocy

What is it with being around celebrities that automatically makes normally sane people act like the biggest knobs in the world? Although, being able to overtake David Hasselhoff in the knob-stakes would be beyond the ability of mere mortals, so I retract that statement. However, I think it takes immense power, and a noticeable amount of luck to crack the German music scene.

So, what is it with that afore mentioned celebrity induced dementia?

In the final entry relating to the REM concert, I will regale a story of the most baffling behaviour. Although, I am not acutely aware of these individuals mental capacity (although I can take a well guided stab… just give me a knife), amount of liquor consumed (probably none for reasons that will become obvious later), or whether they were on some “medication”, but I can only assume that their behaviour wasn’t indicative of their everyday persona.

The other support act was the band Bright Eyes from the US. Any alternative band with a twenty something male lead singer is sure to have groupies, and I’m sure that it was this category that these girls slipped into, but I didn’t know that groupies both made themselves appealing, yet repulsive in the space of five seconds.

These two girls made their way to the front, clad in their skimpy little outfits, high heels and million dollar hairdos. Fair enough, I thought. They’re fans, and they’re probably keen to see these guys.

As the band finished a song, there would be a slight pause. It was during one of these breaks that these two girls screamed their undying affection for the lead singer.

“You’re hot!” they yelled at the top of their lungs.

Okay, that’s fairly normal behaviour for avid fans, I thought, without a hint of sarcasm. The lead singer (I’m not au fait with Bright Eyes’ work or their band members) naturally disregarded this outburst, as he’s probably heard it all before. However, it was the next thing out of these girl’s mouths that absolutely floored me.

“We’re fifteen!”

…

Now, unless the band has written a particular song pertaining to their particular fanaticism on fifteen year olds, that statement would have totally repulsed the band and the singer. I’m going to take a punt and guess that there is no such song. I am only going to assume that these girls were so overwhelmed with having been so close to their idol, that they simply spouted out the first thing that entered their head. Pity it wasn’t the least idiotic.

But I guess they were fifteen year olds, and to expect them to discourse at length about the band’s opinion on their current administrations foreign policy is probably a bit unreasonable. In fact, I would’ve totally considered this into the equation, if I wasn’t far too busy biting the collar of my sweater so that I didn’t burst out into fits of hysteria.

Not that sweater chewing is any more sane than confessing your undying love and current state of classification as a minor to rock stars. But the band probably thought that it was nice that someone who was “challenged” was at the concert… front row. Did I mention we were in the front row? Anyway.

However, I’m not exactly one to talk, as I find myself making a total arse of myself when faced with someone I find particularly intimidating.

I’ve met my share of celebrities, both local and international. I’m not going to name-drop, but I can state that on most occasions I said something so stupid, that these people probably thought that I was somewhat… well… stupid.

But it’s not limited to celebrities, either.

I once had this thing for a girl I knew. She wasn’t conventionally attractive, in that she didn’t possess some kind of model qualities. I just found her really, really striking. The voice, the smile, the… interplay of errant strands of hair falling elegantly to frame her fair face, and her large, angelic eyes that seemingly bored into your soul… *sigh*

Ahem. Anyway, I’ve spoken to females before, and have been quite comfortable. Pit girls wearing bugger all, female politicians with the ability to fire you on the spot, and Women of the Year and I can state categorically that none of them overwhelmed me like this girl did.

But I guess animal magnetism is like that. I wasn’t attracted to these other people, and therefore I could discuss things at length with them. Whereas with this girl, I would find that my participation in the conversation would degrade into me mumbling incoherently in monosyllabic words, as my head pounded non-stop, straining to stem the flow of blood and endorphins.

But still, at least I didn’t say something idiotic. I was merely content to portray myself as a simpleton. But I wasn’t a minor at the time…