My Philosophy

No, I’m not talking about that Ben Folds Five song, Philosophy either. That song was reportedly about Ben’s penis, and frankly I don’t know you that well, and I’m not that kinda guy… but I’m flattered you asked. If by “flattered”, I mean “a little disturbed” in which case I’d say, “yes”.

Also, the fact that my photo is in here somewhere, and has therefore robbed me a little bit of my anonymity, I don’t feel comfortable discussing such topics.

Now run along.

Anyway, it seems that every blog should have some kind of over arching philosophy to drive it, and I’m sitting back wondering what the hell mine is. A lot of the entertaining ones (ie the ones on the sidebar) seem to keep it concise and focussed upon a particular subject, whereas mine erratically jumps seemingly at random.

F’rinstance, I’m an Intern In New York entertainingly covers a facetious and fractured look upon being the bottom rung in the corporate schematic, and offers a bleak picture that despite Interns possessing superhuman qualities and talents, they will forever be marked as the boil on the arse of the fat pig that is the capitalist world. Also, he has the same name as me, and has subsequently changed his screen name to accommodate the two “Andys” that comment on his blog. This is despite the fact that his blog is so much more brilliant and popular than mine. And that makes him a champ.

1 2 3 I love you is a brilliantly conceived insight into the downward spiral into madness, convincingly masquerading as a journal about an English teacher. The seemingly incessant yet subtle poking and prodding from others, which will eventually cause him to snap, conspires evilly and amusingly to almost guarantee a padded cell, and lifetime supply of anti-depressants.

Blandcanyon is one woman’s desperate cry for normality in a world that gets more and more confusing everyday. The fact that we haven’t seen her face in the news is testament to this woman’s resolve and tolerance, as I’m sure if I put up with half of what she’s had to comprehend, I would’ve gotten a sharp object and done “Bad Things” with it upon random people.

I simply cannot comment on all the blogs that I read, so I apologise if anyone feels left out. Besides, I’ve probably missed the point of all those blogs, anyway. Why make a further dick of myself?

Whereas my blog sweeps over general media analysis, idle thoughts, everyday happenings, conversations with myself, and a huge dosage of over-analysis. I think that this should be trimmed down a bit.

So, in an effort to find what my blogosophy is, I’m going to perform one of those “100 things about me” list thingos that I’ve seen a lot of lately. Please note, there might be a little bit of repetition.

1: I’m a cynical, over-analytical bastard who believes that I can’t quantify my good personality as a sum of its parts. Besides, it’s not like anyone actually cares about my idiosyncrasies, so I don’t see the point in exerting my brain over a list so numbingly huge. Also, any attempts to inject humour into my list would have already been done before by someone else, and would be so passé by now...
2 through 100: see 1.

No, that isn’t a commentary on people who compile lists. Okay, maybe it is, but I don’t want to offend anyone.

Besides, it is certainly better than talking about my penis, which I’m sure would offend more people.

So, it seems that I must comment on the inane. But upon further consideration, even the most trivial of activities can be construed as absurd, in a way. F’rinstance, going shopping for groceries is silly when there’s a whole world of perfectly good earth to grow our own food. Not to mention cute animals to club.

The fact that we’ve poisoned most of the soil to the point of being radioactive is also beside the point. I’m sure with some experimentation; we could breed our own plantations of wine grapes fused with avocados so that café’s can use them to create even more disgusting baguettes for consumption.

So, what have I achieved with this post? What has been yielded from another bout of over-analysis, wrenching and futile grasping?

Absolutely fuck all.

Huzzah! Breakthrough! A blog about fuck all.

Welcome.