Internet Flirting and the Apocalypse

Coming from an IT background, I've become quite an avid reader of IT Columnist Kerrie Murphy, aka Defrag. In fact, I've tried to model my writing style off her ability to randomly string together erratic comments. The only difference between her and I is that she's a talented nutbag, and I'm a run-of-the-mill one. Oh, and the fact that she has a regular writing gig, and I'm forever scrounging for new clients... and relying on the boring nine to fiver for regular income.

But this week she reported on the unfortunate events surrounding a suspicious boyfriend. The excerpt from Defrag's column is below (The Inane Asylum is in no way or form associated with The Australian, News Limited or its subsidiaries. The below article is a copy, paste from The Australian website and is in no way or form a result of any work done by The Inane Asylum. Although if we could get paid to write stuff like this, it would rock. What would equally rock is that if we had the talent. The Inane Asylum bidded for some Talent on eBay, but stopped when the price topped AU$10,000. It just goes to show that it's not what you know, it's how much money you have... Perhaps if the Talent was "haunted", The Inane Asylum might've been tempted to go higher...):

"According to the Apple Daily, Huang [Tzu-heng] was unsure whether his girlfriend Hsiao Lan really loved him and since they evidently don't have programs such as The Jerry Springer Show or Cheaters in Taiwan, he was unaware that the correct way to handle such a situation is to surprise them by orchestrating a very public confrontation, preferably in front of TV cameras.

Instead, he decided to test her by assuming an alias and flirting with her on the internet, because there's no way that anything could possibly go wrong with that strategy.

And, in a move that will come as a shock to anyone who has bought a dictionary that had all the definitions for words beginning with I were missing - and thus is unfamiliar with the word "irony" - Huang's girlfriend announced she was breaking up with him because she had fallen for her internet lover.

It's a trick of life almost as cruel as being born a member of the band Maroon 5 that society has evolved to the point where you can actually get into a competition with yourself and still lose. "

After I shaked away the haze of disbelief surrounding this event, and settled down the rising hysteria, I sent this excerpt onto some friends of mine. You know, to share the mirth at someone else's bizarre misfortune. Hey, I'm only human.

There was the usual responses back from friends, "Haha, that's so funny" to "LOL ROFLMAO, dats tooooo funnee!!!1!!!1!!11!"

However, what I didn't expect was one to say, "Yeah, I've heard of that before. I've got friends who said that happened to them."

It is one thing to believe that this happened in the first place. It is another thing to believe that it has happened to multiple people... as in... plural of the singular "person". The story seemed bizarre enough to have happened to one person, as it would take a serious case of paranoia, delusion and jealousy to drive anyone to the level to actually want to test their partner. There must be a lot of mistrust out there.

After a few light slaps to the forehead to knock out the dregs of confusion borne of disbelief, it was one more realisation that just absolutely decked me and left me a quivering mess of despair on the floor.

People actually admitted to it happening to them...

Personally if this kinda thing happened to me, I'd shut the hell up about it. To admit to it seems to suggest that people think that flirting with your partner over the Internet to "test" them is relatively normal behaviour...

Truly, the world is doomed.