A diversion

Some things I will probably ask for many seconds to come:

Like… why did she push so hard to save for and buy a house, only to then discover that paying off a mortgage isn’t the life she wanted?

Why was she so keen for marriage, only to assert that she was always a free spirit and didn’t want to be trapped… only to then bunker down with a new man…?

Why is it that she changed… but only in a way that made her more abusive, even when I telling her what she was doing?

Why someone is able to place blame totally on me for the failure, despite the fact that it was her who was doing the destroying.

Why is it that someone can do what she did, and still land $40,000 (half each of what was left after the house was sold) despite not doing anything that contributed to the house’s value?

Why is it that someone can commit such atrocities to my psyche… yet somehow escape reprimand, as I know that to do so would be empty, soulless and ultimately hopeless?

Why is it that someone can tear you apart for your own personal failings, yet to return the scorn would only be met with indifference?

Why is it that my fleeting memories of Japan readily recall the murderous black swirl of crows that cawed deafeningly at my back?

Why is it that I must face justice and undergo change, when she continues on blissfully – content to blame everyone else but herself?

Today, I am officially a man free of marriage. Free of that woman.

Pity I can’t tell her to get fucked.