Sunnydaleville - I'll be back.

I’m not particularly au fait with the Superman franchise, so I’m probably not the best person to be commenting on this topic.

But, after skimming over channel 10 these last few weeks has pondered this question.

What the fuck is up with Smallville?

At first I thought it an interesting premise. You know, Clark Kent growing up with his powers and how it impacts upon his relationships, friendships, family and so forth. You know.. it was quaint.

But something didn’t sit well with me. For instance, he was friends with his eventual nemesis Lex Luthor.

So, if they were friends, or have at least known each other for a fair while, why doesn’t Lex Luthor recognise Superman?

And now they’ve introduced into the series Clark’s love interest, Buffy. I mean, Lois Lane. It seems that as a kid, Lois wasn’t the screeching mistress who was as useful as a wet paper bag.

No, in fact she kicks arse, flips around and stabs vampires with wooden stakes. Oh wait. That’s Buffy again.

I’m sure if Smallville Lois got a glimpse of the woman she’ll be growing up into (movie Lois), I’m sure she would deepthroat a bottle of aspirin along with a bottle of absinthe.

Oh but wait, not only does Clark do battle with Lex and his evil aspirations, Clark also takes on the evil T1000 from Terminator 2. You know, the liquid metal thing. Ooh… cos Arnie just isn’t tough enough?

Right after vanquishing the insidious terminator (I presume, because the series is still running), he must UNLOCK THE FUCKING DA VINCI CODE!!! Or at least something that rips off the Da Vinci code… ooh… there’s a painting with a CODE in it!!! Get onto it Clark!!!!

Whatever next? Clark has to battle vampires in a small country town that might actually be the front portal into oblivion? He’d better take Buf… Lois with him then…

Five bucks says that the final episode of Smallville has a sudden Amnesia part written in…

(If I actually watched Smallville, I might actually understand some of this shit… but it looks like shit… so I won’t watch it… hey, if people who don’t watch Big Brother can piss and moan about it, I can therefore piss and moan about Smallville)