The "other" insight

Question. How can you tell if you’re the only straight guy at a fancy dress party?

Answer: You’re the only one not wearing a uniform of an authority figure, eg Policeman, Naval Officer, Pilot etc.

However, the answer, “Because you’re the only guy the women aren’t talking to” would also be acceptable.

Oh, the joys that are the fancy dress parties. This time the theme was something along the lines of “an occupation”, in which case I was tempted to be unimaginative and wear my work suit and make up something esoteric.

Like “hitman”, “sleazy car salesman” or even “bored out of his brains public servant”.

However, I would’ve needed a shotgun for that last one to make the image complete.

Although one person did query me as to the best method of getting attention at the party, to which I suggested “running through the front door, diving over the couch, rolling, standing back up, darting the eyes around in a state of panic before sighing loudly and announcing to all ‘Don’t worry, I think I’ve lost ‘em’”

That got many laughs, however considering the condition of these people at that point in time, I think they would’ve laughed at something completely unfunny. Like Comedy Inc (local sketch comedy show).

However, the highlight of the night came from being interrogated by a man in uniform as to the kind of person I was.

And no, he wasn’t trying to get me to “hop the fence”.

He stated unequivocally that he could look into the eyes of a person and tell exactly what they were like. He then continued on about how I’m in a good place right now, and various other musings I put down to “I’m trying to awe you with my incredible insight”

My immediate reaction would’ve been to stare into his eyes and then do a nervous twitch akin to a maniac on the brink of a homicidal outburst, only requiring a small trigger to set me off on my “Path of Purification”, but instead I just stood there… nodding.

I think sometimes you just gotta stop being antagonistic and basically let people give you their “insight” just so they can feel good about themselves.