In a Fit of Cowardice
On the bus this morning, a man had (what appeared to be – but I’m no doctor) an epileptic fit.
Fortunately he was okay; he didn’t bang his head when he collapsed, and he fell onto his side so he didn’t block his air passage. Yet, what I find most perplexing was my attitude to it. “Perplexing” in the “disgusted” kind of way.
I moved to help, but stopped myself for some reason.
First there was the permeating sense that I didn’t know what the heck to do. I mean, honestly… if someone is convulsing on the floor of the bus, there’s not much you can do. And even if I were to try and help, I wouldn’t know where to start.
Then there was the wonder of whether I get involved at all. This was despite the fact that there was no threat to anyone. There wasn’t a reason to be afraid of the ramifications of helping the poor fellow. I just didn’t want to get involved.
Then I felt self-conscious; as though helping him would be reason for ridicule.
So, there I was, frozen to the spot for reasons pertaining to my own ego as some stranger writhed and winced (in what I assume was pain) in front of me.
Fortunately for him, a kindly man approached him as the fit died down. He consoled him as the gentleman gathered himself up, looking quite confused and disoriented. The bus driver radioed for assistance whilst a woman behind me dialed the emergency number for an ambulance.
The rest of us looked on.
I would love to say that I didn’t help on the sole basis that I simply didn’t know what to do, but that would seemingly suggest that if I did know what to do, I would immediately bound to the man’s assistance and save the day.
Even if I knew what to do, I still doubt I would’ve helped him. Not because I’m a callous and heartless iceman who doesn’t want to help others.
But because I’m a disgusting, self-conscious, egotistical coward.
I study a martial art, but what would I do if I saw someone get attacked in the street? Would I come to their aid?
Would I stop a bag-snatcher if he was running towards me?
The only time I’ve used the art was when I (or a friend) was threatened directly.
I’d like to say that I don’t know the answer to those questions, but that’d be lying. I do know… I just hate the answer.
posted by Andy at 10:35 AM
10 files below
don't feel guilty; it's hard for any of us to say what we'd do in an emergency. seriously.
i think i heard somewhere that if someone is having a seizure, you're supposed to clear away anythign that they could knock into and hurt themselves (corners of tables, etc.) and maybe put something in their mouth so they don't accidentally bite down on their own tongue. but that may just be faulty memory.
also, it's happened where people who are given c.p.r. to save their lives have turned around and sued the person who did it for accidentally breaking a rib or something during the procedure. some people are ungrateful.
12:00 PM
hi Andy
Im sorry that you have witnessed an epileptic seizure. I've seen a few in my time and I understand they're both frightening and confusing - for all concerned.
I would suggest you research the correct techniques in case it happens again.
Putting something in their mouths as I understand it was an old school way of stopping them 'swallowing or biting their own tongue' but i'm fairly sure its false and the risk of choking or furthur injury would be there.
Maybe if you Do reseach the topic, you can share with us what we should do.
You're not alone though. Many people have assisted victims of robberies eg, and been fatally injured themselves.
Everyone reacts differently. Some spring into action, some avoid it. Dont be so hard on yourself.
Certainly a heart-wrenching entry from you today.
1:47 PM
The answer is…you got scared like most of us react in these situations, be it a medical emergency or a fight/flight situation. Our instinct is protect ourselves first, physically or psychologically.
I learnt first aid a few years ago and when someone I knew collapsed right in front of me and knocked himself out unconscious, I stood there, frozen, looking at his partly opened eyes, in shock, doing nothing before someone yelled at me to call for an ambulance.
Don’t take it to heart. You’re only human, Andy.
2:35 PM
You are waaaay too hard on yourself. I would have been frozen in a fear/shock combination aswell and i think a lot of other people would be too, if they were honest.
9:24 PM
You definitely don't put anything in their mouths - there's not much that can be done for a person having a seizure except to clear the area and wait for it to pass.
Don't feel bad Andy, one of the girls at work had a seizure last year and it was the first time I'd witnessed something like that and I just froze and wasn't much help to anyone. People react differently to things and it doesn't make you a bad person.
11:41 AM
*hugs* you're definitely not disguisting, self-conscious, egoistical coward. sometimes, the best help someone could offer in such situation is not being involved at all.
11:19 PM
What you did (didn't do, rather) was completely normal and expected of any rational human being.
It doesn't make it feel better, does it? You're going to need some kind of penance to ensure that next time something like this happens, you are the one to act. And how you act is descisive, correct, and helpful.
In the army, there's a reason they go out and do exercises with blanks: it's so that the instinctive reaction on being shot at doesn't leave you as a sobbing, urinating in fear mess.
In a similar fashion, it would be a good idea perhaps to pick up a first aid certificate, start talking to strangers on buses (if you're talking to someone and they have a fit, it's not a "stranger" anymore, now is it? It's a new friend and you are unlikely to hesitate), and generally have a go at being more outgoing.
Dry runs of emergency preparation and visualisation of what you intend to do help you react in a fashion that doesn't leave you guilty.
All of this being said: I'm too scared to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger on the bus myself :S
12:38 PM
Years ago I chased someone commiting a crime in the street. I don't know if I would do it again. I think I just trusted my instincts. My guess is that you would too.
3:37 PM
I know the thoughts that go through your head when something like this happens.
I rescued a kid from a pool a few years back (not trying to brag, really... I was a lifeguard for seven years so it was bound to happen sooner or later) and it's a weird feeling to realise that everything you've been trained to recognise is actually happening.
This was at a party in someone's back yard; if I hadn't known the kid was in trouble, I don't think anyone else would have; they would have just sat there staring as you did. (Sorry, I guess this isn't really making you feel any better.)
I guess what I'm saying is that even when something like this happens, unless you're trained to react instinctively, there will always be doubt about what you should do. It's not a normal thing to have happen, so your reaction was natural. Don't beat yourself up about it.
10:22 PM
but it's still better having the thought that you didnt make things worse
7:08 AM
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