I'm against captivity

I love animals. It’s true. I heart animals so much that I simply cannot squash a pesky fly, step on a spider, kick a cat or harpoon a whale, instead preferring to let them back outside where they can be free to do their daily things like flying around, creeping people out, demanding room service or getting stabbed by “researching” scientists… respectively.

On the weekend I did take an opportunity to wander around the feeding grounds at Gumeracha’s Big Rocking Horse.

It is there that you can feed the myriad of swans, ducks, peacocks, and cockatoos all in the safe knowledge that these animals don’t bite.

Well, not that hard, anyway.

I’m not a big one on keeping animals in captivity, and the feeding grounds are a case in point.

I mean, it’s not because the birds and ducks don’t seem happy. They do. They waddle about, groom themselves and stick their bums in the air as they search for morsels on the bottom of the pond.

It’s not because it seems cruel. They get food given to them for eight hours a day. Whats not to like?

However, it seems that animals share much with humans. And to highlight this I will regale part of the story.

A swan spied me from a distance, and began its less-than-graceful waddle towards me, probably seeking some food. I’ve known some swans to be right old grumpy pricks sometimes, so I thought I would distract it by throwing some food on the ground.

Nope. That didn’t stop the swan’s charge. So I threw some more. Again, it went unnoticed, the swan’s death-charge increasing in intensity.

I grew concerned. Did it really want food? Or was it planning on starting an uprising, starting with the townie holding the food-bag?

Eventually it got to me, stopped, and waited. I reached into the feedbag and held out my hand. It nuzzled my palm and fed vigorously on the feast before it. After the swan finished eating that course, it waited with an expectant look on its face (it that’s possible). So I again pulled some food out for it to shovel into its beak.

After doing this a couple times, the swan eventually lost interest in me and walked off without so much as a crap on my shoes. I mean, anything that could’ve been interpreted as thanks would’ve been nice.

A honk. A nod. An evil hiss. A flapping of its wings. Anything!

In conclusion, providing a cheap home and granting constant handouts all the time turns them into ungrateful arseholes.

So, I’m against captivity because it makes them think they’re people…