Doing the Rudimentary Shuffle

In this day and age in where perils lie everywhere, young travelers are only good for locking away for drug possession and terrorists are hiding in dingy corners and underneath overturned fridge boxes, the idea of taking a trip fills many with a feeling not dissimilar to dread.

Take the word “many” from that last sentence and replace it with “my parents” and you’ll get the gist of what I’m saying.

My parents fret too much. They believe everything on the news. In fact, if I wasn’t such a huge fan of their work, I’d be calling them right-wing-fundies-who-should-chill-out-more.

However, chilling out requires some pill taking these days, and I don’t want a background of substance abusing parents. I’m traveling and don’t need that publicity.

My folks fret at the idea that my brother lives in Sydney. Okay, yes he’s diabetic, but he’s 30 years old and should be able to look after himself. Should.

My folks fretted when I went to Sydney in June. I think that had a lot more to do with the fact that I was driving there, and that Sydney roads are reminiscent of a Mad Max (“Road Warrior” for you State-siders) movie.

It’s the whole “don’t get killed over there, whatever you do” thing.

But I was chatting with my best friend the other day about this phenomenon, and he raised a bloody good point.

“You could get killed by trying to cross the road” he said, and he regaled me the story of when he was in LA trying to cross the road. He instinctively turned his head to the right, instead of the left, to check for traffic. Nearly got sconned.

So, if - heaven forbid – that I decide to up and off this mortal coil, I would much rather have the story of my demise be “Oh, he was caught up in that awful earthquake in Tokyo. He died trying to save a Labrador puppy from a falling piece of billboard” over “he was cracked by the 5.13 Circle Line Bus at Victoria Square”

It’s the difference between dying doing something adventurous or doing something rudimentary.

Okay, I might’ve just jinxed myself. But if anything happens, tell people I just had to save the puppy.